I Know In Time We’ll Find This Was No Surprise ♥ October 29, 2009

Can you remember the first time someone told you “treat others, the way you’d like to be treated?” I feel as though you should treat others the way they treat you. I am now reaching the end of my first semester of my senior year in college, and I have yet to meet someone who acts like an adult. I’ve also been told that you meet your best friends in college, but yet for me, I can say that I’ve met maybe only two true friends.

The events of my life in the past week have really made me evaluate the life I have versus the one I want. When I first joined my sorority, I joined because I wanted to make friends and to get involved. I never thought that by making friends, meant make friends where you have to force your friendships and when they said get involved, that meant getting involved in drama that I had no want to be a part of.

The whole big sister little sister extravaganza for me, was the worst part of my experience. My big sister had no want to even be a part of my life or even try to get to know me. Needless to say, she quit the night before my initiation. How thankful I was that someone had stepped in to be my big sister and actually be a role model to me. So when it was my turn to get a little sister, I was so excited to be a role model for her. I wanted to have a relationship with her that I never really got the chance to have with mine. We clicked great and we were practically inseparable. Well it’s that time of year again, and my little sister just got a little sister. Never did I think that our relationship would end there.

I was so excited for her. Although I was, at first, unsure of whether or not she was ready to be a role model for someone else, I kept my mouth shut and sugar coated everything she wanted to hear. Part of me believes that, by doing that, it ruined our relationship.

Next thing I know, I’m being left out of everything. All the sudden the time and effort we had put forth to build a relationship together was shot to hell. It was like out of nowhere, I had to let her go as if she was going off to college and I’d see her on holidays. Kind of like that convenient friend piece I wrote a couple weeks back. What is this? Someone better comes along and you fixate yourself on that person instead of trying to include everyone. Next thing I know, I’m getting hung up on, stood up, and enjoying nasty facebook messages. I’m pretty sure this is college. At the beginning of the year, I was nervous about this year because I was not sure I was going to be ready to leave this place. Leave the memories behind. But now, I’m for sure ready to graduate and move on with my life.

When I joined my sorority they said _________ is for a lifetime. I really do hope that the alumni sisters have more class and respect than the sisters I deal with now. If you’re too nice, you’re a pushover. If you’re too blunt you’re a bitch. I guess it’s just time to get down and dirty and treat people as they treat you, no more sugar coating for me. If they believe  a true friend is someone that will tell you the things you want to hear rather than the truth, than they have bigger issues than I can deal with. I’ll stick with the people that appreciate my truthfulness. ♥

A Little Gamblin’ Is Fun When You’re With Me ♥ October 18, 2009

So last week, I was driving along when I heard that Lady Gaga would be performing at a bar close to my college. It was also ladies night so as long as we got there before 11:30 PM, we would even get in for free!

What a sweet deal right? Well I don’t know why it never dawned on me to double check that Lady Gaga was really performing but it seems like a skank enough place that she would.

So all week my roommate and some of my friends were getting really pumped to get into a free concert and just have a good night.

Well last night was the night. My roommate said “are you sure she’s really playing there tonight? It just doesn’t seem like a place she would perform at.”

Well, I told her to double check it, so she did. Needless to say, I overheard the guy on the radio wrong and Lil Gaga was performing. The world’s smallest Lady Gaga impersonator!

Ha, definitely gave us a laugh. We didn’t end up going, but part of me is disappointed because Lil Gaga is probably better than Lady Gaga anyways! Since we were all so stupid, I thought I’d give Lil Gaga a little publicity on my blog! Feel free to laugh at us, because we sure did, for like an hour! So here’s her website if anyone wants to check it out! ♥

—>  http://www.lilgaga.com/index.htm

There’s Gotta Be Something More, Gotta Be More Than This ♥ October 8, 2009

Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness is a complete idiot. My family definitely struggles and has to live day by day and check by check. It drives me crazy how hard both my parents work, but yet we still can’t seem to get out of the debt that has been caused by the recession and well.. other things.

All I wish, was I had one of these money trees in my backyard. My family and I are constantly stressed about how we’re going to buy food for dinner or pay for school, or pay rent and everything else that comes with a price tag and after a while, it makes you depressed. I’m 1,000 miles away from home, and I still worry that my parents are able to pay rent. Clearly I need to let them worry about their own problems, but they’re still my family and it’s nice to know that they’re okay.

Dealing with financial issues everyday definitely starts to make you unhappy. So my theory is that whoever said “money doesn’t buy happiness” had money. Someone that never had to worry whether or not their little brothers were going to get presents from Santa on Christmas or couldn’t play football because they just “couldn’t afford it.” “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” thank you captain obvious… must have been that same brilliant philosopher from the first quote. Is there any quote out there that truly depicts what most family goes through on a day by day basis financially? Because on a day like today, I could use some uplifting ♥.

I See The Way You’re Acting Like Somebody Else, Gets Me Frustrated ♥ October 5, 2009

Avril Lavigne, has made my list of artists that sing what I’m feeling all the time. Her song “Complicated”, I know… it’s an oldie, really has been the anthem of my life for the past week or so. So convenient friends, I always believed for them to be okay, but ONLY if the feeling was mutual.

I had one friend who I considered my best friend to treat me as a convenient friend and it made me upset because I wasn’t feeling the same way. Then, I have this other friend, if you even want to call her that, who sits with us at lunch, comes out with us every once in a blue moon, and she was always fine to hang out with. She’s a bit of a loner, and doesn’t have many friends because a good evening to her consists of not eating, going back to study for the rest of her life, and catching some Z’s by 7:30 p.m.

She’s really come out of her shell this year, coming out with us, way past her bedtime! She’s a lot more interested in getting a boyfriend than studying and it’s funny the transformation she has made just in one summer. However, for me, she was always a convenient friend because she was more my roommate’s friend than mine. We would invite her sometimes but she was definitely not the first person to jump into our heads.

Last week, she wanted to go to our local bar on college night with us. We were like okay, that’s fine but as soon as 10:00 p.m., ligit… on the dot, came around I get a text saying “I’m SO sorry, I have this huge migraine and it just like won’t go away and I’ve had it all day”…. blah blah blah. Whatever happened to just saying I don’t want to go? So I just responded OK. And she kept it going, even though I believe she was lying because there was no reason for a 3 page text to describe why you can’t go and she said: “Are you frustrated with me?” Like seriously, who freaking cares if you come or not, not? I don’t. Not to mention, you text me at the last minute when we assumed you were the driver! So I simply just wrote back: “No, I really don’t care if you come or not.” I wasn’t trying to be mean but I really didn’t care.

So this week, apparently something crawled up her behind and died because she has never, in my 2 years of knowing her has had such an attitude. Like why do you have an attitude with me? You lied about why you weren’t coming? Anyways, I just ignored her all week, but then like the last day she wants to be nice? What is it with girls?

So as far as I’m concerned, she’s still on the convenient train because after what she pulled this week, she’s definitely not someone I want to invite out if she’s going to ruin my night. Hm. I wonder why she has no friends? Whatever. ♥

No That Ain’t No Way To Be, I’m So Over It ♥ October 4, 2009

So you hear all these motivational speakers, and speakers that just like to raise awareness on dating and date rape etc., etc. talk about when it’s your turn to step in and stop something you know isn’t right. Well, I’ve been trying to do so, maybe not in the right way all the time, but definitely trying to keep my roommate from getting hurt for the 3294372349th time.

Today, I was telling one of my sorority sisters that one of her friends needs to mind her own business and stop butting into her relationship issues. Well, I’m taking my own advice now. I don’t like this person and my roommate knows this. It’s funny hearing girls say how different he is… yeah he’s in his own freaking scumbag league. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so inconsiderate, non-supportive, rude, and ignorant in my life. But, it’s no longer my place to say anything. I’ve been trying for 3 years to help my roommate realize that she deserves better, but until she realizes it, nothing’s going to change. So with that said, I hope she learns to have an open mind about internet dating sites, because that seems to be the only thing he’s interested in these days and what guy wants to be with a girl who isn’t interested in the same things he is?

Needless to say, this will most likely be my last post about her relationship issues. Giving my opinion, sometimes even when it’s asked for, just causes problems and it’s not worth fighting with her. She’s my best friend and all I ever wanted was for her to be happy. She’s on my blog roll if you find her story interesting. She probably tells her story better than I do anyways. Peace ♥

I’ve Given You My Best, Why Does She Get The Best Of You? ♥ September 29, 2009

I’ve never been “the other woman.” I don’t truly understand the thought process behind some women who choose to date married or taken men. I also don’t understand the mind behind the men that cheat on their girlfriends or wives, but that’s another story for another time.

I’ve never been much of a country fan until I moved from Boston to North Carolina. It slowly grew on me and eventually… took over my iTunes. Sugarland’s “Stay” really has such a strong message when it comes to dealing with having to share your significant other. It’s hard for me, because I have to watch my roommate go through this, everyday.

But, especially in her case, what happens when you’re dating someone and “the other woman” had no idea that her “boyfriend” was taken? Should the other woman be held responsible for your pain and your heartache? Most women probably automatically blame her but really… is it their fault?

I’m definitely not saying it’s the girlfriend’s fault, because men shouldn’t be cheating anyways… but I feel like we put so much hatred and anger towards these girls that were just as naive as we were, and fell for the same lines and lies. As for the women who know they’re “the other woman,” I honestly don’t know how anyone involved could handle it. As the other woman, you know your man is going home to his wife or girlfriend, or maybe even kids every night. You know, he may never leave and he will always be waking up to his real significant other every morning. As for the men, how do you keep the lies straight, the sneaking out and the guilt? Do you even feel guilt? And as for the girls that do nothing more but give their love, their time, and sometimes even their bodies and souls, what about them… how do they deal?

Seems to me, it’s a big mess. Why can’t people just stop telling lies and excuses and tell the truth… for once and everyone from hurt and embarrassment?

As for my roommate, her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend wants to be friends. On one side, she could have unknowingly  been involved with my roommates “boyfriend” at that time, so how can my roommate judge someone she doesn’t know and was believing his lies just as quickly as she was. But on the other hand, if the girl was dating him knowingly, why in her right mind would she want to be friends? I guess it’s like they always say, keep your friends close, and you’re enemies closer.

For my roommate, I dedicate “Stay” as the anthem to her life for now and I hope that she will find a happier song to relate her life to soon.

Comment Please. Especially if you can shed some insight on cheating, being the other woman, or dealing with situations like this. ♥

Blame It On The Alcohol ♥ September 28, 2009

Before I joined college, I knew I wanted to really get involved. So as a freshman, I joined cheerleading but when I found out I had to work off campus, cheerleading wasn’t going to work out. So when I came back as a sophomore I knew that Greek Life was the right thing for me.

I wondered about hazing and drinking. What was I getting into? Lucky for me, I wasn’t hazed and drinking didn’t really happen much on this campus and when it did, I didn’t have to be involved to fit in. It was great. These girls became my home away from home.

Now as a senior, I recently turned 21 years old and it was really nice to know that I could get into the clubs I couldn’t before and socially drink with my friends if I felt like it.

Well, Thursday nights are usually college nights, and we usually hit up the local bar just a town away. Last Thursday, as my roommate and I are ecstatic to watch the Grey’s Anatomy premiere and then head out for a drink after, I got an interesting e-mail from one of my sorority sisters that deals with moral issues like drinking.

The e-mail said: “Hello Sisters! It has been brought to my attention by advisors that I need to address an issue about alcohol. Traditionally and as it stands now, alcohol may not be consumed in the presence of new members. This includes at house parties or other establishments. This should go without saying, but do not supply new members with alcohol.”

So thinking rationally, I assumed that if you were 21, it would be okay because… of course, I am legal to drink. But just in case, I called the President of my sorority to confirm. She confirmed that even if you are 21, you are not to drink at any establishment if there are new members present.

This is absolutely ridiculous. If  I am not on campus (which it is a dry campus) I don’t understand, if  I am of  legal age to drink, why I cannot have a drink? I’m not providing anyone underage with alcohol, it is not a sorority event, and I’m legal. What’s the issue here? I’m still completely confused as to why this applies to people who are 21. Most, if not all of our new members (we got 17 new girls a couple weeks ago) are all underage. I would believe that there would be an understanding for them that drinking underage is illegal and alcohol should not be consumed whatsoever. I also believe that they have an understanding as to which sisters are of legal age to drink. Someone please tell me as to why there is someone associated with my sorority that believes if you are legal to drink, you are apparently incapable of making the right decision as to not get completely trashed in front of the new members.

We are having a discussion about this at my meeting tonight. Can’t wait to hear what other irrational rules they’ll have to tell us about.

Comment on this and help shed a little light as to why my advisor believes she’s the President of the United States and can change a National law? Thanks

Life With You Makes Perfect Sense, My Best Friend ♥ September 26, 2009

Some of the most incredible writers in the world have attempted to express love in their work. I never thought that I would be capable of being able to relate.

If you asked me 4 years ago if I was in love, I’d say absolutely not. It was lust or just infatuation. I was, at the time, choosing a college. I had always wanted to move out of state and I had just started dating him.

Questions arose. Should I stay? Should I leave? If I leave, and we break-up will I regret my decision? Well, as hard as it was… I chose to do what was best for me, not us. I chose to move 1,000 miles away for the next 4 years of my life.

Although, our relationship has not been perfect over the past 4 1/2 years, I am very grateful that we have gotten through it all. Through the distance, the loneliness, and the jealousy. Now, I am applying to graduate schools. Questions again. Should I go home? Is it the right choice? Is home where I need to be? Does my relationship weigh more in my decision this time?

I believe that there is one true love in this world. Just one. This person, who has waited for me… patiently to figure myself out, 1,000 miles away, deserves more. My decision now, is about us. I can’t wait to move back and start my next journey of getting my master’s and seeing what’s in store with him. I’m not going to be the one to choose my career over love. Careers come and go, but love may never come again.

You Better Take It From Me, That Boy Is Like A Disease ♥ September 24, 2009

Love. What comes with it? Drama, heartbreak, laughs, cries, and… sex. Now, I’m Catholic, and well… so is my roommate. My roommate is a bit more religious than I am and has chosen to wait until marriage. I completely support this decision, but as a fellow female, I can only imagine the trouble she goes through in her relationships. We’ll take the last one for example.

He swept her off her feet, complimented her, supported her, understood her, wanted to wait for her… until the waiting became too much. He then even used the “let’s get engaged” line thinking that maybe, just maybe she would have sex with someone that she was going to marry. I’m from the north. Getting married at 19 years old seems outright ridiculous.

In my roommate’s situation, what man in their right mind would take away that one special moment [the proposal] from a girl, who only wants to get married once, to justify their own sexual desires and needs. It’s outright selfish and uncalled for. A relationship as controlling and needy as this one makes her wonder if she’s ever going to find a man that is supportive, romantic, motivated, and is waiting as well. And if that’s not out there, than someone that’s atleast willing to wait for her. Are there any men out there that can think with their brain instead of their heads? Cause we’re both starting to believe the latter.♥

They Call Me Her; They Call Me Jane; That’s Not My Name ♥ September 23, 2009

It all started with Puff Daddy. He was one of many that could not decide what exactly he wanted to be called. It went from Puff Daddy to P. Diddy to Sean Combs… what’s it going to be?

I once knew this lady who had a son, and at the time he was probably about 14 years old and his name was Timothy. At a family party, she actually made him wear a shirt that said my name is Timothy, not Tim or Timmy. Like who cares? Nicknames, new names, what’s the point?

Well with many of my roommate’s love escapades, her well.. ex boyfriend, decided to drop the last letter of his first name. Like what? You think you’re better than everyone else? It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Maybe it was a disguise, a way to make himself feel better as if he became a new person, because I’ll tell you, the first person he was… was a winner!

So when I hear this “That’s Not My Name” by the Ting Tings, it just makes me giggle because I can’t wait for the day where you go up to someone and you address them as the person you once knew them as and now they’re someone completely different. It happens everday doesn’t it? That someone you thought was your friend isn’t, or someone you may have had a foul first impression of turned out not to be too shabby… well lets just add to the 21st century lingo. Get use to it kids, next thing you know, you’ll be like “Hey _____ ” and they’ll just simply reply, that’s not my name. What a headache.